December 2011
50 posts
Another Year Down
May your best day in 2011 be your worst day in 2012.
Happy New Year <3
I love you with all of my heart.
-Todd
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“Sometimes I think that objects have lives of their own. At least, maybe we imbue...”
– Nani - From a Very Pregnant Letter
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Homeless
Last night I felt dreams, sink into my eyes like fresh wood to sparkling campfires. Turning my thoughts into fading embers, and when the sun came up, I could barely speak my own name, with smoke still fresh in my lungs.
Like the snapping of bridge support wires, all the people screeching their tires to find a way, to safety before the sharks circling below ate them alive-
I remembered,...
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Sailing
I’ll be sleeping outside tonight, while torrents of rain knock out my teeth.
Sleeping, on a raft made of cheap patio furniture, moldy and worn from years of yawning sunsets.
My sails will be the clothes from my back and my wind will be the breath from your lungs, deep and yearning, to no longer hear my voice.
Will you miss me when I reach the edge of the earth?
This place isn’t...
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moratorium
sea salt hung,
on our heavy eyes
like drapes,
bloodshot and empty- nooses hanging loose around, feet struggling to find common ground
we were all but dead and gone
strewn across the shorelines of our preconceptions, and it was all new. something shook my chest that day on the cliffs, waves crashing so far below us.
we were ready, to be swept out to sea
so i tossed you in, and you were, by...
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BLKLNTRNS Debuts an EP! →
Some dear friends of mine released an EP.
Follow. Listen. Download. Support.
I love you all.
-Todd
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Horse Hair
You were an American painting, washed out and washed up.
Romanticism seemed too kind, and detached. Impressionism had an effect to the oil between the eyes and our blinks made cubism seem surreal.
We dissected your patterns, colors and shapes and wrote you letters about them. About all the things I couldn’t say with words, suggesting to only myself that, I had no one to complain to....
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Christmas Day
“Why is it so hot in here?”
I could barely hear her voice from the next room. Sweat was coating my arms and my legs were stuck fast to the chair. She was humming again. A slight wind brushed up against me, like she did last night, careful not to spill our drinks.
Her perfume still hung itself on everything. There were tiny nooses on sheets and lipstick stains on napkins and...
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memory #67
i came along, and i bled
she came along and then sped, away with a heart meant for the hands of another, and he’s pleading, “brother, oh brother, save me from the fangs that sit in my gut, why couldn’t i just keep my eyes shut?”
watching from silk colored windows, i blacked out my face and sat with the wind close, back raising questions from the dead, when the...
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Other Places
A few of you may be aware that I am the sort of ghost to frequent more than one house.
Well, I have just added another mansion to haunt.
I am now on HitRECord. It’s a new thing for me. Expansion is becoming first and foremost on my priority list. So, bookmark it, or join, or do whatever it is you do to keep track of things like this. I will post on there every so often, and it will...
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slopes that cough
I. once and a while, we touch against skin and it’s all, strictly business
II. composing echoes that last, a lifetime within foggy summer dawns
III. all on our own, yet together we attach a sickness, to our cause
IV. bleeding forgotten names from our pores- we pour, into framed posture
V. our eyes cry for help but, the ears never...
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a proud rose
that night, we slipped drugs underneath our tongues and i swear, i never felt closer to something, that was intangible. before the stars wrapped us up tight, drifting against goosebumps, keeping our lips warm.
did they know you, better than i? did they find you casting aside, that ugliness shown when we woke, trapped in spring dew?
you wore arrogance, as though this new garment, could...
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comfort
we all talk so funny, with hands shoved down our throats trying, to pull out the offering of a heart, for someone to hold.
will we find them, or just drown in our own blood?
let’s get naked and lay, in each others arms
not because you want to, but because you feel pity.
either way, you’ll be beautiful no matter what the other boys say.
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Holiday Tips
billdixoncomedy:
By wearemostaliveindreams
The holiday season is upon us once again. Well, I guess that is a bit of a lie.
The holiday season has been upon us since before Halloween and because Congress is currently in deliberation over instating one mandatory Black Friday a month starting in May of 2012, I have compiled a list of 5 things you can do to preserve your sanity and become the...
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Cheer
The holidays. Laughter and chuckling and drinking and fucking and lying and cheating and over indulgence and eating and driving and stress and binges and cigarettes and coffee and sweets and vegetable platters and meatballs and mistletoe and eggnog spiked with brandy and sandwich platters and fistfights over dwindling toys between last minute shoppers that claim they are too busy during the...
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“I don’t want to live forever. I just want to live for you,
but the Devil...”
– Dan Smith
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fourteen months, six days, eleven hours and...
jack hammers and carbon dated luminescence-
opium smoke, drains into empty words: you, pieced together like polaroid photo albums, scotch tape and thumbtacks, pierce our fingers and eyelids.
where did we go after the end had already begun?
that cold seattle morning when our breath fell from our mouths, settling thick on the porch at our bare feet- kids play hopscotch in winter ...
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Low Ball
I wish I hadn’t found you that night, drinking by yourself.
But there you were, hair depressing like mud puddles, eyes lost in the bottom of the low ball glasses you were stacking next to your purse. And then there we were. I have never been a shy person and I guess, after everything, you would say that it’s a serious fault of mine. You had a twinkle in your eye, like you wanted me to tell...
i don't believe in happiness anymore
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Ears like Smoke Stacks
I worry sometimes.
You’re always starting fires in the back of my mind. Auctioning off your heart to the highest bidder.
Smoke signals bring all of the sinners, from their rock walled caves and I, am caving in. Saving my skin for the day I put out your fire.
Keeping my grin for the way you’ll make me retire to moon colored sheets, where we’ll undress each other.
Just tell...
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Business Men
It all made so much sense, when she’d bend and the spine bones would crack and spend themselves in ways her wallet never could.
Sometimes, it was like the earth moved to her heart.
She is the art inside us all.
The art inside us all and I can’t stand thinking I’ll fall, onto my knees and ask her “Please, Please, don’t leave the way you came, it’s only...
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One Tuesday in December
It’s December 13th and the birds have finally left.
December 13th, on a Tuesday and they finally changed their breath. From warm to cold the air shifts and shakes, giving everything a welcome break. Lungs make a way through oceans of thinned out breeze and the man in the silver coat, has crutches the color of bees, striped and jutting out from his hands like billboards that only sport,...
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Winter: the calm cold
“Fall was here,” the sickly man whispers- “Winter, just arrived.”
mild days and night air nibbling my lungs, form a line and bleed the milky way.
sticky sweat sealing around the precipice, of what i’ve got left.
“You were, a welcome change.”
now it’s just festering wounds on the face, of this place: a disease. never giving back.
we are so...
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heavy hearts
youth never held so close, to heartbeats before our eyes saw murder, desperation and agony-
sleeping with an enemy, is asking for an epiphany: before the sun rises and clothes slip on slow, while bodies slip between back-door frames.
will we leave this rotten vestige, before ruin sets in stone or will all this weight stay with us, until we’re nothing but empty bone?
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Currently
I am about to start a short story that I will be submitting to Digital Americana for their upcoming publication. Go check out their website. It’s beautiful.
Anyways, it’s about a vampire, but not in the sense that everyone is thinking.
That being said, I will let all of you lovely human beings try to figure out just what the fuck I am talking about.
I love you all.
-Todd
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tireless
city lights wander by, the air picks at my skin.
those macabre notes bleed, from your radio and nothing seems so slow, as your hands picking nervously, at denim fields.
vinyl blushes from red lights, while the homeless curtsy and handshake.
a clock stops ticking and i finally breathe, letting this road drift on for hours.
and hours. and hours.
until we meet the moon cuddling the horizon. a...
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fireflies
i’ll watch them flash and flit, just outside my windows, streaking and dancing like tears across heartbroken skin- let them fly and be free. i’ve never known, the pain of always having an endless night sky, suspended in humid blackness- waiting until the sun, finally dies before the spotlight is mine, raking crossed t’s and dotted i’s across my flesh, until i burn...
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A Set of Notes From a Former Self Found in the...
Remember to watch the eyes of those that talk. Someone will always be lying, whether to your face or in the bedroom of your mind.
The more sleep you get, the more tired you are.
Smoke is never as elegant as it looks in pale light.
Be careful of those that say they love you. Everyone has a motive, no matter how big their heart or words are.
Autumn arrives and nothing...
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wind
by design, we carry on our way
l i k e, k i t e s t o c h i l d h o o d d a y s.
bleeding into dreams and pretending we’re all okay.
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strangers
waking up in a stranger’s bed, like a tangled web.
waking up in a stranger’s house, like a newborn mouse.
waking up with a stranger’s lips, and heat filled kiss.
waking up with a stranger’s hands, and a day of no plans.
it’s something, i’ve never done before-
but
waking up is something, i could get used to
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familiar ghosts
ghost stories, don’t bother you like they used to.
i remember laying in bed, as your fingers complimented my hair /
you would stop and listen, mouth hanging half open. spotless lips and teeth / your feet getting colder against mine…
the sheets would rise, cracking like wax paper. our skin, going white and the blood we shared, decided to write goosebumps.
and in my dreams,...
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Construction
Good afternoon friends.
I have begun preliminary construction on a new novel. For those of you that have been following me for a while, I am still awaiting the results of the 3-Day Novel Contest that I participated in over Labor Day weekend.
If I don’t end up winning (which I won’t, I guarantee you), I will revisit that novel and begin tearing it apart and reworking it to be better,...
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Winter: we remain the same
Winter, was always so kind.
but his depression was something, we could not tame- it ate him alive. like wolves, on a fallen fawn.
a frozen, empty organ cavity chewed through til the bones were milky, white and rotten.
soon, we will all stand around Winter’s grave, sobbing and dabbing away tears with black handkerchiefs. throwing tarnished roses, red and bronze, green thorns poking through...
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The truth is not what the sentence says, but...
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Winter: the last postcard
whiskey and sweat- we drank, until our blood stopped dead in its tracks.
we froze right fast to the patio, so… we stopped and we kissed.
fireworks spark, through our fingers.
you are the thief, ear pressed close to my chest. timing the beating of my heart and picking the lock to my rib cage.
gazebos keep our shoes at dawn.
we are the few sipping water, eating bread and watching...
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the palisades
we sat and sang along, to songs from our childhood. always, getting drunk.
your sunset, glasses over and it’s never, looked this beautiful.
i think i want to remember you this way, brown sugar coated lips, hiding in covers- folds like waves and polka dotted eyes that line this beach.
starlight could never be, that intoxicating
who was this experience, that left this black...
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Winter: a long lost friend
i watched as the birds left.
my heart tugged in time with their wings and i hoped, the cold would come.
but, Winter took to the open road and lost its way.
sent us postcards and letters, dated four days ago. each the same and different, with worn edges and faded longhand.
there will be, no Winter this year.
no frozen fingers or warm brandy. no thick blankets or fireplace memories. no...
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